Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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