My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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