So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
