the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We talked him into tasing himself.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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