Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
