I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
