I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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