I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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