you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
