It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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