omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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