she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
