I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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