I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
This is my gift to your gina
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
