I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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