Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
