4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
