I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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