I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
nutella sex= disaster
mondays should just be called national damage control day
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
