Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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