before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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