I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
