Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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