i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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