I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
