Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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