Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
