Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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