haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
