Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
