its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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