found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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