Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
being pregnant is like rehab
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
