i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
