I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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