we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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