tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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