Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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