At least make sure they are 18
Why
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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