i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
