Small penises have feelings too.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
