Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
