Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
