do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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