she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
