Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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