Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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