Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
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