Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
