goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
