he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
