i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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